House of the Dragon S1.03 — Got crabs?

Spoilers below for House of the Dragon S1.03 — Second of His Name

In the third Dragon episode, we’ve jumped 3 years in time. It seems like they don’t really know how to get the story moving, so they just keep doing time skips. I assume we will stop seeing such large gaps soon, but you have to think that they don’t have much going on if they can so easily jump 3 years and nothing has changed.

For example, the war between the Crabfeeder and his men and the Velayrons, Daemon, and his dragon has continued and it’s not looking great. Rhaenyra is still unmarried and still pissed at her father for getting with her BFF (rightfully so). Everyone at King’s Landing is still trying to get Viserys to reverse his decision and unname his daughter as his heir. And Viserys is still a whiney little bitch. Like I said, nothing has changed.

However, pomp and circumstance require that the Royal Family take to the Kingswood for a hunt in honor of Aegon, Alicent and Viserys’ first son, who is turning 2 years old. Rhaenyra doesn’t want to come but is ordered to do so. However, after being hit on by a sleazy Lannister, she takes off on her horse and is followed by Ser Cristen Cole. They spend the night in the woods but no funny business occurs unless you count being attacked by a wild boar.

Meanwhile, the king blacks out on his throne after 1 too many marriage proposals and at least 5 too many glasses of wine. Otto recommends that he betroth Rhaenyra to her 2 year old half-brother because 1. Targaryens are gross and 2. that really secures his grandson’s seat on the throne. Viserys laughs him out of the room and he is replaced with that other councilman who we think is a Stark (he looks like Samwell Tarley but old). He suggests that Rhaenyra marry Lord Coryls’ son as long as he survives the fighting in the Stepstones. Pissed at the mention of the Stepstones, whiney Viserys peaces out Sponebob style (see incredibly created meme below).

He goes to moodily stand by the fire and lament to Alicent that maybe he made the wrong decision naming Rhaenyra his heir. She’s super pregnant and also 17 and not really in a position to say anything so she doesn’t. Then the hunting horn sounds and Viserys is off to find the “white hart” (not actually white) that they’ve cornered for him to kill with a large poking device that Jason Lannister gave him (not in a sexual way).

It turns out Alicent does have some sway over the king, though, because when they return home she visits him and tries to talk some sense into him. (Although, she is being swayed by her father, let’s be real). She tells him that Rhaenyra will only marry if she thinks it’s her idea and Viserys agrees. Likewise, she convinces him to send aid to Daemon and the fighters so that the Crabfeeder can finally be vanquished.

Viserys sends a messenger to his brother letting him know that ships and men are on the way. Daemon takes that news in an interesting way by beating up the messenger and then using himself as human bait to eventually kill the Crabfeeder. I guess, in the end, this did help end the war because Daemon was so pissed his brother was trying to help him that he just went in there and did the damn thing. Go, team!

Back at King’s Landing, Rhaenyra and Viserys get into another fight over the big marriage question. He tells her she needs to get married but that she can choose to whom she weds. Also, he promises that she won’t be supplanted in line for the throne….ok but how can he really make that promise when everyone and their mother is up his butt about naming Aegon king? The only way would be to marry Aegon and Rhaenyra but that is so gross and also she definitely wouldn’t choose that herself.

So far, if I had to guess, she’d choose Ser Cristen Cole to be her match though I can’t remember if Kingsguardmen are allowed to marry. Based on the preview for next episode, a nasty rumor about Rhaenyra is going to spread and I’d bet it has to do with her blossoming relationship with Cristen. We’ll see, though!

Producer who loves TV, looking for my next opportunity to be creative & pet dogs. View all posts by lizziekreitman

Originally published at http://lizziekreitman.wordpress.com on September 5, 2022.

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