House of the Dragon S1.04 — At the brothel with your uncle

Spoilers below for House of the Dragon S1.04 — Episode 4

In tonight’s episode of Dragon, we get some good ol’ fashioned brothel scenes and the inability to get that Uncle Fucker song from South Park out of my head. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we?

Rhaenyra is on a multiple months long tour to hear from suitors interested in becoming her hubby. After hearing from Beric Dondarrion, who is older than her father, she listens briefly to a child from the Riverlands. She calls it quits when the other suitors start heckling the boy, but then the boy kills the heckler, which seemed unnecessary, but that’s Westeros for you.

She returns to King’s Landing right behind her uncle and his dragon, who enters the throne room with a sword to add to “the chair”, a little crown of driftwood (very Pinterest), and the Stepstones to hand over. Viserys accepts these gifts and Daemon’s fealty and the bros hug it out. At the cocktail hour following, Viserys and Daemon joke over who was their mother’s favorite while Rhaenyra sulks. Eventually, she and Alicent finally speak and seemingly make up after all of these years.

Then it’s Rhaenyra’s turn to chat with Daemon. In High Valyrian (because they are bougie), they both lament over the fact that they are nothing more than political pawns. Rhaenyra says she wishes for a life of solitude and Daemon says that sounds “lonesome.” Yeah, dude, that’s the point. After dark, Rhaenyra returns to her room to find a backpack full of peasant clothes and map that leads her out a secret back passage.

At the walls of the castle, she finds her uncle and they head into the city holding hands (gross). They walk around the city where stone dragons are breathing fire, people are having sex on the street, and a very pointed play about the heir battles is happening. After sharing a flask, Rhaenyra tries to take a treat from a vendor and is thwarted by the fact that she’s a princess and doesn’t have any money. She runs and Daemon follows her, eventually leading her to a brothel (really gross).

In the brothel, he removes her beanie so everyone knows it’s her (why!). They go through the entire place until they find a room full of people (again why — he could have definitely found a private room). They start to make out and take off their clothes (so incredibly gross) but when Rhaenyra wants more (please it’s too gross!), he turns and runs away (phew). Disheveled, she pulls up her pants and runs out of the brothel calling for Daemon. A little boy sees the whole thing.

She returns to her room from the not secret passageway and Ser Cristen Cole is obviously concerned. He says he is going to call the Lord Commander so she opens the door and steals his helmet. Then, after slowly removing every article of his armor, they have sex. At least she doesn’t have the woman’s equivalent of blue balls now. Unfortunately, the little boy comes to the castle and tells Otto Hightower (the Hand) what he saw.

In the morning, we see Daemon in what appears to be just a boarding room owned by his former “not so common whore”. We also see her pay the boy for giving the secret, which means she is likely Varys 200 years earlier. No castration needed. Daemon, fighting a mean hangover, wanders back into the castle grounds and is immediately taken for a reckoning with the king. Viserys demands the truth and Daemon says it was better that Rhaenyra have her first time with him than someone else. He asks for Rhaenyra’s hand in marriage but Viserys denies him and tells him to get out of his sight for good. Daemon says, “As you wish, brother” which feels like Scar in The Lion King saying he’ll take good care of Simba right before he tries to kill him, you know?

Confronted first by Alicent and later by her father, Rhaenyra denies sleeping with her uncle both times, even going as far as swearing it on her mother’s memory. Alicent believes her and Viserys is not so sure. He takes this as an opportunity to force her to marry Lord Corlys’ son and unite the houses. Rhaenyra takes this as an opportunity to get Otto Hightower out of the position of Hand. In the last scene, the maester brings Rhaenyra a specially brewed tea to rid her of any “unwanted consequences.” Basically, midieval Plan B. She best take it because it seems like these Westerosi ladies are fertile.

Rhaenyra seems smitten with Ser Cristen Cole, so I’m sure that love affair is not over yet. He seems pretty conflicted, though. Also the King’s flesh eating virus is getting worse and so I feel like Viserys is not much longer for this world. They keep saying that if Rhaenyra ascends the throne when he dies, fighting will break out. In the play, the crowd boo’d when they mentioned her as the heir and she didn’t seem to care (not a sign of a great leader, I’d say).

Only time (or spoilers) will tell! Until next week!

Copywriter who loves TV, petting dogs, and traveling. View all posts by lizziekreitman

Originally published at http://lizziekreitman.wordpress.com on September 12, 2022.

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